Over 90 years of age, my next door neighbour passed away. I would often see him taking walks that lasted an eternity, early in the morning and at the end of the day, taking each and every tiny step with determination. I’ve never really talked to him, besides the occassional “ni hao”passing by, he was not very talkative, but I liked him.
After offering flowers to his family, we were invited to say a prayer for him in front of a shrine dedicated to his memory. This is a ritual I used to do with my family in France so it reminded me of when I said goodbye to my grandmother, my uncle and my aunt many years ago.
When I returned home, I was surprised to find tears in my eyes, which made me wonder whether I am not quite at peace with death, as of yet. I am working on it, but I still feel some pain – and I believe death should be serene for the person who is passing, as well as for those who watch them go.
A few months ago, my uncle Tinoy lost his Master of Sarbacana. His name was Michel. I only met him a few times, but at every occasion our conversations were filled with great meaning for me, and I remember him with much love and respect. It was only a year ago when I saw him last, and as we shared in laughters conversations over a crepe in Brittany, I said a simple goodbye, thinking that it could not be long before we’d meet again.
As I called my uncle to give him my condolences, I didn’t know what to say… so I just told him what I felt in my heart : “You know, we already went through moments where we were confronted to the death of our dear ones but even today, I just feel unconfortable to tell you that I’m sorry and that I’m going to miss him too…”
Here is what he answered:
“You know, dear niece, if we could all accept death, we could all accept life… My heart is suffering but my soul is at peace… He left very smoothly in a meditating state, I know everything is just fine with him now and he’s always going to be here in another form of energy…”
I told myself that I was calling my uncle to give him some support and at the end, it turned out to be the other way around.
I believe death is not an end, each being is made of energy and when time comes, this flow of energy simply transforms. I think it’s important to be prepared when a time to face death comes. It is like being prepared to welcome a new born baby, it takes some time. If we’re not ready for it, we’ll probably panick, we won’t act, we will re-act.
I find it sad that death has to be a taboo topic in our society. Wouldn’t it be so great if we could discuss simply about it ? Would we still be so afraid of it ? Wouldn’t it be easier to accept it as a simple act of Life? Some of us, when we talk about death, we touch wood, why? Because we fear and reject it.
As for me, since a few years, I explore death to understand life. I’m not doing any weird experiences but I’m learning to allow myself get closer to it by freely talking about it… a topic like any other topic… it is not easy but I’ve realised it is only by making it accessible that I can free myself from and with it.
Personnally, in situations where I’m facing a person’s death, my heart changes direction and I surprisingly find myself to putting in perspective my day to day issues, they don’t really exist anymore, I don’t pay attention to them as they are not really essential. In these moments, I find again the essence of life and I enjoy it back… I wish I could be in that state all the time, though I haven’t succeeded yet.
Is there anything more essential than Living and not just barely existing?
Is there anything more intense than enjoying the journey in each moment of our life instead of continuously thinking about reaching a goal?
This is a day to day training I give myself. Life is teaching me so much, challenging me and giving me signs… It is not easy to accept but it is precious… to simply aknowledge one’s own death…
A deep and inspiring book written by Michel-Laurent Dioptaz. Free download. In French language. Le Silence qui parle. Rencontres avec le Maître intérieur.